Below is a guest post from a mom who has a son with Autism about why she chooses
to take her son out for Trick or Treating. This post was found on The Mighty:.
With Halloween fast approaching, I’m sure everyone has gotten their costumes
sorted out, candy bought, pumpkins carved and houses decorated to delight even
the ghostliest of visitors. Halloween has always been a favorite of mine and my
husband’s. In fact, we love it more than Christmas. Before we had children,
Halloween parties were always fun to attend. Getting to be someone else for an
evening was rather fun.
When we started having children, our hopes to pass down our love of this holiday
just added to our excitement. Cute costumes for babies and toddlers. The joy of seeing
them get their first piece of candy in their bag. Getting grossed out over pumpkin guts.
But that all changed when we had our children with autism.
Autism is a funny thing. It’s unpredictable. You never know what is going to be a
trigger. So with Halloween being one of those holiday where things don’t appear
to be what they normally are, we had to brace ourselves for the possibility that
the holiday we loved so much would be celebrated differently.
Most of the general population doesn’t understand why this would be a
triggering holiday. From the costumes choices( or lack there of) to the
inability to utter those famous words, “Trick or treat!” to not understanding
the concept of why we don’t go directly into someone’s house even through
they are giving out treats. People don’t understand the strobe lights or the
fog machines put our sensory-sensitive children into a tailspin. I don’t expect
them to fully get it. It’s just the way things are. But what I do expect is for people
to have some understanding that there are little ghouls and ghosts out there
trying to do their best at trick-or-treating.
Our son, who is nonverbal, has a hard time with this. I’ve been asked on many
occasions why I didn’t leave him home. Well, the answer is simple. I will not shut
him out of society because other people aren’t comfortable with his existence.
He has every right to be with his brother and sister trick-or-treating. My response
is always the same. He is just a little puzzle piece who says, “Boo” in his own little way.
Halloween and every holiday is for everyone. It doesn’t matter how they experience
the world. They are entitled to partake in the festivities.
Please, if you do see a child who might be scared or overwhelmed, be a comfort
to him or her. If they’re not wearing a costume, don’t get on their case about it.
It could be that the costume is made from a material that bothers them. And if
they don’t say, “Trick or treat,” it could be that they can’t. They would if they could.
And for most of us parents who love this time of year, hearing that would be
awesome. But a lot of us just want our children to be accepted.
Just remember that there are going to be children out there who say, “Boo!”
or “Trick or treat” in their own way.
Original post appeared on Spouse, Kids and Special Needs Aren’t Issued in a Seabag?